OK, new recruit, stand up straight. No slouching or slumping. Other programs might allow you to get away with that but we don’t hold with that here. Where I come from, when we catch somebody tightening their necks and pulling down, well, we drag ’em behind trucks until they release their heads forward and up.
OK, give me ten up-downs in the chair without tightening your neck.
New recruit, ARE YOU TIGHTENING YOUR NECK? IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE TIGHTENING YOUR NECK.
Do you like tightening your neck? Is that the way your mother raised you? Well, new recruit, for the next three years, I’m going to be your mother and your father and I don’t hold with tightening the neck.
You little maggot. You ball of puss. Walk to the door while thinking free neck, head moving forward and up, shoulders dropping off to the sides, back lengthening and widening, and your knees going forward. Release your lower back, you septic tank. Stop compressing yourself.
I’ve got a good mind to wallop you one over the head if you don’t stop pulling down. You call that standing up straight? Your head is pulled back. You are going through life with debauched kinesthesia. Give me five whispered ahs right now. I don’t see you smiling in your eyes. Think of something funny.
Do I amuse you, new recruit? Do you think I’m funny?
