Among the most scary parts of life are when you lean in for the first time to kiss a girl. I’ll be thinking about it for hours or days sometimes. Other times I’m feeling real strong and smooth and I just swoop in.
About a fifth of the time, the girl has been the first one to kiss me. Much of the time the girl says, "I thought you were never going to do that."
So I’m slow. I’m so verbal I’ve usually talked everything out and through with her before I make my first move.
Once this grad student 15 years younger said to me as I was leaning in the first time, "I heard you were in a porno."
So I had to explain that, not easy, and then moved in and conquered…
There’s no predicting how she’s going to react. Getting rejected here puts your relationship in a very awkward state. She’ll likely come out with the "I just want to be friends" line and you’re condemned to purgatory.
According to the book "The Game," you let the conversation trail off and then look her in the eye. If she stares back at you for three seconds, she’s ready to kiss.
Other suggestions:
* Tell yourself you’re a caveman and she’s just practice.
* Ask for a massage because you’re sore from playing basketball. Then tell her she’s doing it wrong and you’ll show her how to do it right…
* Ask her to stick out her tongue. Then start sucking on it. If she protests, and slaps you, you’ve got a great story.
* Ask to show her something on your computer. Winamp visualizations etc. Kiss her on the cheek. If she turns to you, kiss her on the lips.
* Get her to focus on something else. I’ve found watching a movie together rocks. You both lie down on the floor and you start watching the movie and you snuggle up and… This has never failed me. Point out the view or your puppets or the TV or something on the internet and talk logically to distract her while you start making your moves. Women are dying for an excuse to be swept away.
So why does any of this matter? "A man has only one escape form his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman’s eyes." (Clare Boothe Luce)
