So I was saying my blessings and humbly eating my lunch this afternoon around 1:30 p.m. I was tuned to ESPN2 watching Shakira in concert celebrating the World Cup.
She’s blonde and white and lithe and gorgeous to watch.
My lunch was going down nicely.
Then she took the mic and put it on a bench and rolled it back and forth…
I can’t get that move out of my head.
I’m a simple Jew. I don’t do things like this. I don’t know girls who do things like this. Oy, this is all so foreign to me and so disturbing.
I was appalled and aghast and very deeply morally opposed. So after she gyrated through three more songs and ESPN went to a commercial break, I turned off my TV to demonstrate my moral opposition to hot blooded blonde Latina singers rolling mics while in concert on ESPN.
Enough is enough!
It’s been five hours since I saw that obscene image and it’s still haunting me. It runs in a repeating loop in my brain. It only lasted about three seconds on my TV, but it has inspired these thoughts, that oy, a simple Jew should not think about.
Now I understand why Jimmy Carter told Playboy magazine that he lusted in his heart. It’s taken 33 years, but I’ve finally understood his remarks.