Finding An Orthodox Wife

A young man converting to Judaism tells me: “The problem I have is that most orthodox women (90% +???) won’t recognize a ger (a convert to Judaism) unless he has an RCA-approved conversion.”

I don’t think that’s true. Unless you want to be chareidi, you’ll be fine in Orthodox life with an LA Beit Din or non-RCA approved conversion to Judaism.

If you do want to be chareidi, getting that initial Orthodox conversion to Judaism, even if it is not approved by the RCA, will make your life 100% easier.

Any Orthodox non-charedi girl who tells you that your LA Beit Din conversion is not good enough is just feeding you a line to get rid of you.

I remember at LimmudLA a man asking about his wife’s conversion status with Rabbi Michael Melchior. The wife had done a non-RCA approved Orthodox conversion to Judaism. Should he worry? Rabbi Melchior told him not to worry.

People worry too much.

Jeff emails: “Believe it or not, my experience with Jewish dating has been mainly limited to the internet! I have used sites like and Your telling me that a Rabbi Rue conversion is generally good enough for most modern orthodox women puts things in perspective. I was rejected by several women on these sites because my conversion was not RCC. However, I never ran a control. What I mean by a “control” is an experiment which would see whether ALL girls using internet dating are this selective. I guess it’s very easy to make an excuse when using online dating, because all it takes is a mouse click. The other issue is that the kind of frum girl who is using internet dating probably couldn’t find a Jewish man in her local community anyway.”

Few orthodox women will take you seriously until you have finished an Ortho conversion.

Also, you will most likely marry a fellow convert…rather than a woman FFB (frum from birth). You’ll have more in common.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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