The Jane Institute posts: “Everyone is a potential fan. You never know who’s on your side, and I mean that in a good way. There are a surprisingly large number of general well-wishers in this world, who see your particularities and notice your essence. You do one nice thing in front of a person and every time they see your Instagram post, they’ll like it and genuinely think “their dog is so cute” or “I’m glad they got married.” I know I talk about envy and and have been holding a grudge for over 13 years about this trend, but The Jane Institute is more than just snark. The levels and hierarchies don’t matter as much when there is goodwill.”
It is easy to move through the world armored up, assuming that strangers are indifferent at best and judgmental at worst. We obsess over the critics, the trolls, and the competitors, but we tend to underestimate the surprisingly large number of general well-wishers in this world. These aren’t necessarily your best friends or your die-hard followers. They are the quiet observers who see your particularities, notice your essence, and decide—often subconsciously—that they are on your side.
It usually starts with something small. You do one nice thing in front of a person—you hold a door, you make a self-deprecating joke, you show a flash of genuine kindness—and that moment sticks. It creates a permanent joyful bias in their brain. From that point on, every time they see your Instagram post, they hit ‘like.’ Not out of obligation, but because they genuinely think, “Her dog is so cute,” or “I’m really glad they got married.”
They are rooting for you from the sidelines, asking for nothing in return.
I know this might sound out of character. If you’ve been following my writing, you know I talk a lot about envy. I tend to focus on uncomfortable topics such as social climbing, and the darker sides of human ambition. I have spent a long time mapping out the battlefield of status.
But The Jane Institute is more than just snark.
While it is useful to understand social dynamics, I am realizing that the levels and hierarchies don’t matter nearly as much when there is goodwill. Envy isolates us; it turns life into a zero-sum game where someone else’s win is your loss. Goodwill connects us; it acknowledges that there is enough sun for everyone to catch a tan.
When you stop scanning the room for threats and start scanning for potential fans, the world becomes a much friendlier place. You realize that people aren’t just watching to see if you trip; many are watching hoping to see you fly.
So, keep your armor if you must, but maybe lower the visor a little. You never know who is quietly, genuinely happy that you exist.
