AI suggests: Under a MAGA Fed, interest rates aren’t adjusted by economists—they’re announced at rallies with a chant: “Raise it! Lower it! Raise it! Lower it!”
Instead of the Beige Book, they issue the Red Hat Book. Every chapter ends with “And America is winning, folks.”
Inflation is no longer measured by CPI. It’s measured by how many gold-plated Trump sneakers you can buy with your paycheck.
Instead of “quantitative easing,” they call it “patriotic printing.” Every new $100 bill comes with a free coupon for a bucket of KFC.
The Fed chair testifies to Congress wearing a “Let’s Go Brandon” tie, and monetary policy is explained with WWE metaphors.
Bank stress tests? Replaced with “loyalty tests.” Fail one, and your bank’s reserves are frozen until you post a video pledging allegiance to the cause.
Why did the MAGA team take over the Federal Reserve?
They wanted to replace the dollar with “Trump Bucks” and make every bill yuge!
What’s the new Federal Reserve motto under a MAGA takeover?
“Make Interest Rates Great Again—zero percent for everyone!”
What’s the first policy change at the MAGA Federal Reserve?
Every meeting starts with a chant: “Lower the rates, raise the stakes!”
Why did the MAGA Fed redesign the currency?
They put gold-plated borders on every bill to make it “classy, the best, tremendous.”
