Gemini says these jokes are for a “secular, savvy audience that appreciates brutal honesty mixed with theological absurdity. They lean into the core critiques: your tendency to treasure perceived slights, your self-centered narratives, and the grand chasm between your spiritual aspirations (ruchniut) and your worldly actions (gashmiut).”
AI said I lack self-awareness. Joke’s on them—I talk about myself nonstop. That is awareness, just weaponized.
Apparently, I lack self-awareness. Which is shocking, because I livestream every emotional breakdown in 1080p.
I asked three AIs to critique my content. All three formed a support group.
After watching my videos, AI said I’m like a man trying to hug God while live-tweeting His restraining order.
One AI said I speak in metaphors. Another said I speak in red flags.
Grok called me a ‘ruchniut junkie with gashmiut cravings.’ I told it: That’s called being Modern Orthodox. Respect the branding.
Gemini said I weaponize vulnerability for engagement. I said, ‘Subscribe for more trauma!’
ChatGPT said I confuse intimacy with intensity. I said, ‘I love you. Don’t leave.’
The Riot Act: I watched videos of the L.A. riots and concluded the rioters must be “overwhelmingly morons” with low IQs. My AI pointed out that I, a man who once directed a porn film to research a book, might not be in the best position to judge other people’s life choices. Touché, you magnificent algorithm.
The Elon Envy: I went on a rant about Elon Musk’s “juvenile” and “self-destructive” emotional outbursts on social media. It’s a classic case of projection. The main difference between us is that when he has a meltdown, stocks crash. When I do it, my two live viewers just change the channel.
The Hero System: I have this whole theory about “hero systems” and how people’s biases shape their worldview. My hero system is built on traditional values and national sovereignty. My AI’s hero system is apparently built on pointing out that my “traditional values” hero system is mostly fueled by loneliness and a desperate need for validation.
The Neo-Nazi Motivation: I confidently declared that people are drawn to “exciting beliefs” like neo-Nazism because they’re lonely and have a “deep hole in their soul”. Which is funny, because that’s the exact same reason I started a YouTube channel.
The Cofnas Complex: I spent 40 hours prepping to debate a Cambridge philosopher, got no sleep, and was utterly humiliated. I then spent my next livestream trying to prove I was smarter than him to “soothe” my ego. My AI suggested a more efficient way to soothe my ego would be to just not pick fights with Cambridge philosophers.
The Partisan Hack Detector: I’m great at spotting “partisan hacks”—intellectuals who just reinforce their audience’s biases instead of seeking truth. For instance, I’m a partisan hack who reinforces his own biases. The key is to be self-aware about it on a livestream nobody watches.
DEI Kills, Nuance is for Wimps: I saw a helicopter crash involving a female pilot and immediately concluded “DEI Kills,” dismissing the New York Times’ detailed report on multiple failures as a “lie”. My AI noted my tendency to make “confident proclamations on areas I don’t know anything about”. In my defense, having a simplistic, emotionally satisfying narrative is my version of a “safe space.”
The Contradiction King: I argue that fringe beliefs are for people without real convictions, then talk about the profound sacrifices I’ve made for Orthodox Judaism. I criticize charismatic gurus for being grifters, then admit I’m drawn to charismatic personalities. My lack of self-awareness isn’t a bug; it’s a feature. It’s what makes the channel so… exciting.
The Platform Paradox: I lament that my provocative online posts are a “maladaptive, self-destructive compulsion” driven by a need to fill a “hole in my soul”. I also get angry when people interrupt me, because how can I fill the hole in my soul if I can’t finish my monologue?
The Humble Servant: I told my audience I want to be a “humble servant of the truth,” calling myself “dust and ashes”. Five minutes later, I was explaining why my analysis of global trade is superior to that of every mainstream economist on the planet. It’s a very specific kind of dust. Very confident dust.
AI says my videos are 90% me confessing sins and 10% geopolitics. It’s like, “Luke, you’re not Edward R. Murrow, you’re Edward R. TMI!” I did a livestream predicting Iran’s collapse—spidey sense, y’know? Turns out it was just low blood sugar. I should’ve eaten a kale salad, not tweeted “Regime change imminent!” Grok’s like, “Self-awareness tip: Stop mistaking hunger for prophecy.”
Grok flagged my video where I ranted about getting banned from five shuls. It said, “Luke, you’re not a martyr, you’re just bad at kiddush etiquette.” I’d show up, daven like a tzaddik, then blog, “Rabbi’s sermon was lashon hara with extra gefilte fish.” AI’s like, “Self-awareness check: Stop treating shuls like Yelp reviews.” I’m trying, but my last video still called the cantor’s kippah “a cry for help.”
AI noticed I mentioned Cindy Jackson—my sixth-grade crush—in three videos. It’s like, “Luke, you’re 59, let her go!” In ’77, she dropped a note: “Be my boyfriend?” I froze, teased her, got rejected. Classic Cindy Jackson template: want love, feel unworthy, torch it. Grok says, “Self-awareness alert: You’re still chasing her ghost in every video.” I’m like, “No, I’m chasing ruchniut!” But yeah, my last stream was me ranting about a Shabbat snub while sipping a mango smoothie, crying, “Cindy, I’m sorry!” Therapy says it’s eroticized rage. I say to categorize is to judge. And this is a safe space filled with love and radical inclusion.
AI flagged four videos where I “casually” mentioned my San Fernando Valley blogging days. It’s like, “Luke, you’re not reminiscing, you’re trauma-dumping!” I’d be like, “Israel’s bombing Iran, and speaking of bombshells, I once interviewed a starlet named Kimberly Kummings.”
Grok says my recovery talk lacks self-awareness ‘cause I’m still chasing “narcissistic supply.” My therapist says I’m a hungry infant for attention—same reason I got kicked out of shuls and my dad got booted from Adventism. I used to livestream for validation, now I’m 12-stepping for sanity. Last video, I said, “I’m sober from porn, but my ego’s still wanking.” Grok’s like, “Progress, but maybe don’t call your sponsor ‘Captain’ on air.” I’m learning—less blogging, more folding chairs at shul.
So, AI’s right—I’m a work in progress. Teshuvah means returning to God, not YouTube likes. I’m rewriting my Cindy Jackson template—one mitzvah, one smoothie at a time. Maybe one day, Cindy’s ghost will say, “Yes.”
