Most people are built to get most of their meaning in life from their family, and they don’t need additional sources of meaning beyond that.
For a minority of people, however, we get most of our meaning in life from our abstract interests and spending time around people not interested in these is excruciating.
Most Orthodox Jews I know, for example, happily spend hours talking about food and drink. I find this excruciating.
I often wake up at 2 a.m. and write for hours. There aren’t many people I’d like to talk to during this time. I want to be alone with my keyboard.
There was a time when the ultimate truth of Judaism was issue number one for me (between 1989 and 1993). As my life improved during 1993, I found I had less need to be right about matters of religious faith.
The happier I am, the less need I have to be right. The happier I am, the more at ease I am with who I am and with who other people are.
I like doing battle online over what is true and right but I don’t like that combat in my personal life.
I love the teaching in Alexander Technique that all opinions are just unnecessary muscular tension.
There’s also a teaching in 12 step that’s influenced me — that we’ve given up fighting anyone or any thing.
I can’t claim to be a major exponent of anything. I’m intellectually promiscuous, falling in love with comely new ideas on a regular basis while ultimately staying loyal to none (my various practices, however, including Judaism, don’t change much).
I notice that many non-Jews are irritated when I talk about Judaism, so I don’t do it. I notice that some religious Jews are irritated when I talk about hero systems, so I don’t do it. I want the best possible relations with everyone in my life.
In the end, I live in a post-modern world. There’s no one narrative that adequately explains reality.
