When Do I Want To Get Into Trouble?

There’s a specific mood I get into when I want to make trouble.

What are the signs I’m going to make trouble?

* An absence of a feeling of connection
* A desire to break through and find freedom
* I don’t value the connections I’m about to shatter
* I think my life will be better when I break out and find freedom

Sometimes, I want to pick a fight. When I have the opportunity to bully, I bully. I had this sweet girlfriend who’d let me bully her. So I’d bully her.

When I’m feeling like a victim, under-valued, under-appreciated, under-cared for, disrespected. Oy, that’s a big one. Diss me and I want to fight back.

Sometimes I get these delusions of grandeur. I see myself as a hero. I feel drunk on my own power.

I often feel contemptuous of others. That’s a sure sign I’m going to cause trouble.

The more secure I am with myself, the less likely I am to pick fights and to shatter relationships.

When I’m ready to fight, I start marshaling arguments in my head about why I am right and the other person is wrong, bad.

I often develop an agenda for an important conversation and then ride roughshod over the person in the pursuit of my agenda. I do much better when I honor the conversation I am in and only bring up my agenda when I see there’s an opening.

I wonder if I can let go of my hurt more quickly and be more vulnerable more quickly so the other person can open up and we can start healing instead of hurting.

I am prone to jealousy. It is underlain by this insecurity, this fear of loss. When I can stabilize my sense of worth, I’m less vulnerable to my rages.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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