Assignment: Write about what people always say about you. Give it an Indian name.
Bad Dog
People always say I’m sarcastic. An Orthodox Jew. Are you Jewish? I get that question all the time. Were you born Jewish? You have a good vibe. Very sexual. Erudite. Funny. Insecure. Didn’t your parents give you enough attention growing up?
Where are you from? What do you do? Are you gay?
On the make. Climber.
People try to ascertain if I am reliable and trustworthy. Am I who I say I am? What’s my agenda? Am I safe? Am I a threat, and if so, in which ways?
I come into insular communities all sweetness and light and years later they discover they have a "pen-wielding Rosemary’s baby" in their midst.
Are you going to write about this? Will you put this on your blog?
What’s your story?
People tend to hate me or love me. Many people are so deeply suspicious of me that there’s no point to trying to win them over. The harder I try, the least effective I am.
What is extraordinary about you? Give it an Indian name.
Big Sky
My thirst for glory and recognition. My ability to judge dispassionately. "Luke is a nice guy but an absolute snake." Haha! I love that. I slither through the grass and then I rise up and my fangs fan wide and my forked tongue spits out and I am ready to bite.
I can blend into the diverse communities. I can go from homeless to the rich, from pornographers to Orthodox Jews.
I was raised with the belief that I was special. My mother said when she was carrying me in her womb, "This one will do something special for God." I was told that story many time by my parents. They came to regret that, fearing they’d raised a narcissist.
When I was written up in newspapers and magazines, the attention did not surprise me. I always thought that my extraordinary work would receive the recognition it deserved.
It’s been more than two years since I’ve been profiled by anybody, but I believe my glory days lie ahead. I’m struggling through right now but I am headed in the right direction. I won’t long have to do drudgery for a living. Once again thousands of people will pay attention to every twitch of my keyboard.
