Seven Minutes In Heaven

"What’s Seven Minutes in Heaven?" he asks.

"You never played that?" she says.

"No," he says. "What is it?"

"That’s when you spin the bottle and then get into the closet with a member of the opposite sex for seven minutes," she says. "It’s all dark in there and you just feel around."

"I’ve never heard of it," he says.

"You never played Spin the Bottle?" she asks.





"Did you play Seven Minutes in Heaven?" he asks.

"Yes," she says. "In Seventh grade. Everyone did it."

"You were in yeshiva," he says.


"Oy vey. You got into a closet with a boy and let him feel you up for seven minutes while you were in seventh grade?" he asks.

"How do you know I didn’t feel him up?" she asks.

"You’re such a slut," he says. "How can I walk into a room with you and know that every guy and every girl in there has had a turn with you? How do you think that makes me feel? Like I have something precious? Slut!

"I want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with you."

"Will we be all fumbly and nervous?" she asks.


"I didn’t even have an boobs back then," she says. "They were all yeshiva boys. This was going on in Modern Orthodox schools [Manhattan Day School]."

"What a shanda for the goyim," he says.

"Good thing they didn’t see what was going on in our parents houses," she says.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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