Your Moral Leader Has Had The Flu Since Rosh Hashanah

It must be a punishment for my sins. I’ve got an appointment tonight at 7 to see a doctor.

Rodger Jacobs: I’ve had the same virus for weeks; it goes away and then it comes back. Rinse, lather, repeat. The annoying aspect is that it never goes to a full-blown flu but makes you feel like you’re on the verge of a bad flu. I’ve had respiratory congestion off and on, low grade fevers, lethargy. It sucks.

I’ve had it for three weeks. I recall a CDC statement a few weeks ago saying that aside from H1-N1 there are three other flu viruses floating around this season; this must be one of them. Oh, another symptom: appetite loss.

Khunrum emails: "She’s cute. Luke, I’d get in contact with this young lady. You can discuss your malady and perhaps hang out, you know, be fatigued together. Perhaps she’d offer you a snort off her oxygen tank."

PS. So I go to Kaiser Thursday evening. The receptionist looks at my driver’s license and then at me and then says, "Boy, you sure have changed."

The picture on my driver’s license is of a cleancut All-American bloke. The person before her is a shaggy-haired Orthodox Jew.

"That’s because he’s become Orthodox," says the other black receptionist.

"Now I’ve got the homeless look," I say.

"I wouldn’t say that," says the first lady. "You look good both ways."

That cheered me up.

I went to see the doctor. He checks me over. He can’t find anything wrong. I tell him I’ve been too sick to go to therapy for the past month. He suggests that is a mistake, perhaps my physical ailments are the result of depression.

He orders some blood tests.

I tell him about my sore right knee, how it swells up when I do too many yoyos at Alexander Technique. I think there’s something torn in there. I want to get an x-ray.

Dr: "We could do that, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I don’t think you need the radiation."

He gave me an Aase bandage to wrap around my knee.

He noted that I had sinus congestion, possibly allergies, and prescribed over-the-counter nasal moisturizing spray.

I showed him my two ingrown toe-nails on my big toes. He recommended I cut the nail straight, not curved, and soak my feet in warm water every night for two weeks and massage the skin away from the nail.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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