A friend bought me a 75-minute session with Siri-Gian of SoulAnswer.com.
I arrived 20-minutes early and sat in the sun in my car and wrote down my thoughts.
Then I went in the house and waited for her.
She’s warm and cozy and motherly.
She brought me into her office. She asked me what I wanted to find out.
"I don’t really know," I said. "I hoped you could guide me.
"I went to the opera last night for the first time. This soul-thing is a first time for me. I’ve never done anything like it. I don’t believe in talking to your soul and I don’t not believe. In this respect, I’m agnostic.
"I’d like to know if **** is good for my soul.
"I’m nearing the end of my first year of training to become an Alexander Technique teacher. I want to know if this is good for my soul.
"I’m having a lot of money difficulties.
"But my main problem is my inability to connect with others. I tend to want to sit back and analyze others and think myself smarter than them and this gets in the way of my connecting.
"I hate ***. I’ve built my whole life around hating ***. If I meet anyone who reminds me of ***, I want to destroy them on my blog."
"Would you like to let that go?" Siri-Gian asks.
"Yes. What I’m doing is not working. I need a new direction."
She has me lie down on a table. She starts pressing on my chest. It hurts. She says it will feel better by the end of the session.
She takes my right arm and bends it back. It hurts.
She pulls out a tape recorder and starts asking me questions.
She asks me several times if my soul is ready to answer.
I don’t know what to say. This feels a little bit like my attempt at automatic writing, which was a complete failure.
I don’t know where my soul is. I don’t sense it answering her question. I don’t want to be a party-pooper so after a while I say, "Sure."
I feel warm. My body buzzes.
Siri-Gian asks me a bunch of questions. I don’t sense answers coming up from my soul. I just get pictures in my head.
At first, I picture I’m waist-deep in the water looking at an island reminiscent of the TV show LOST (I just saw 20 minutes of this about three weeks ago).
Then this picture intercuts about every second with me walking through the jungle in the island.
Then I see myself walking through downtown Los Angeles at night. Then I see various pictures of my opera date.
Then I see my dad looking pained and silent while I lie in a field of clover bathed in sunshine.
I talk about all the people who’ve done me wrong and Siri-Gian asks me if I want to forgive them. I say sure. We go through each person and each wrong and I forgive.
This becomes really intimate and after an hour or so when it is time to sit up and drink a glass of water, I’m ready to flee.
I think I proposed that I’d be more compassionate towards human frailty, including my own, and that I would use humor in my writing.
I haven’t heard the sound file yet.
Here’s the follow-up protocol.
I feel peaceful and energized. My chest don’t hurt no more.
I think I’ll go to yoga.