Category Archives: Personal

Foxcatcher

This movie ripped me up inside. Growing up in foster care for most of my first five years, I’m susceptible to cults and charismatic father figures. I can’t recall a movie that was more painful for me to watch because … Continue reading

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Where’s My Movie Studio?

I converted to Judaism 21 years ago and I still haven’t been given my very own media property. I don’t want no freakin’ bank, I want a newspaper or magazine or movie studio, and I want it staffed with hot … Continue reading

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I’ve Dated Too Much

Dating is the one thing that you get worse at the more you do it. My most exciting times were with bipolar alcoholic nymphomaniacs. I found myself going to bed with Rachel but waking up with Leah. I found Jewish … Continue reading

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Will To Power

Chaim Amalek: That’s a good look for a cult leader. It is the look of a man intent on driving the Jews back into the Torah Corral. All that’s missing is a bullwhip. Airdrop this man into Ferguson and all … Continue reading

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What’s My Excuse?

At work, I am asked: “When you look in the mirror, aren’t you embarrassed by who you are?” Luke: “I evolved in a warm climate where food was plentiful year round. I did not have to plan ahead. I did … Continue reading

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‘Next time you’re besotted, just ask for a writing sample’

From the blog Just Not Said: I’ve generally gotten a clearer sense of people from their writings than from their everyday conversation. A parallel: if you find a beautiful woman witty and insightful, see if that impression holds up over … Continue reading

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What’s Your Backup?

A buddy tells me he’s feeling pensive. He sees time slipping by. “And I have no safety net, no backup.” Luke: “Just God.” Friend: “Yes, same as every hobo on skid row.”

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We’ll Say No More About It

* Growing up a WASP, I often heard the phrase, “We’ll say no more about it.” I don’t ever remember hearing it in Jewish life, however. * From Downton Abbey, S5E6, Lady Mary: “I’ll be as solemn as a church.” … Continue reading

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Brian and the Boz

This 30 for 30 documentary shook me up. It’s about a kid (Brian Bosworth, better known as the Boz) who can never meet his father’s expectations who takes on a college coach (Barry Switzer) as his subtitute father figure, enjoys … Continue reading

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How Did You Die In Your Past Life?

I took the quiz and got this result: “Hundreds of millions of people died during World War II, but your death was quite special. You died while freeing a Nazi concentration camp and saving the lives of dozens of kids. … Continue reading

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