Tag Archives: Torah

Which woman will be the first to invite Luke’s jackbooted Aryan sperm into her uterus?

Join the fun: palestine4ever:  I do notice he’s changing shirts more often. Emma:  The less a girl knows him? ChaimAmalek:  Luke knows that he can use a petroleum based lubricant on his condoms, thereby assuring their failure during coitus palestine4ever:  … Continue reading

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Amalek Warns About The Shiksa Menace

Chaim writes: Years ago I sought to shield you from the menace to your neshama (Jewish soul) of having all of these women with loose morals around your home and places of business.  You partook of their honey pots, but … Continue reading

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Who Are These Weird Child-Abusing Breslaver Hasidim?

Maven writes on Failed Messiah: This group was a fringe militant group that ran afoul of the law and all common sense a few years ago when they tried to blow up the Mosque. They have no Orthodox or other … Continue reading

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I’m Going To Start Giving Hair Cuts & Facials In My Spare Time So I Can Have Extra Money To Buy Torah Books

I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past three months. I just gave myself a severe trim this morning. Come into my cam and give me some feedback. Perhaps I have a future in the beauty profession? A Jew … Continue reading

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Modern Orthodox Authenticity Guilt

Pico/Robertson is home to three big Modern Orthodox shuls — Young Israel of Century City (YICC), Beth Jacob (BJ) and Bnai David Judea (BDJ). An Orthodox friend calls: "Who is the number one shul in Los Angeles for technical adherence … Continue reading

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Rabbi Noach Orlowek Comes To Town

This guy is hilarious. A must see. He’s funnier than Chris Rock and knows more Torah. Rabbi Orlowek is speaking Wednesday night in Pico/Robertson for the Helkeinu Foundation. Here’s the press release: "Total Transcendence: How to connect spiritually without stepping … Continue reading

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I Demonstrate And Explain Tefillin To My Cam Audience

From my live cam chat: Russian: Is he checking his blood pressure? untpunt:  ohh yeeaaahhh RussianDragon:  is that bulletproof KhunDiddy:  either that or strapping on a suicide vest Emma:  What is that QuixoticLass:  no, bullets would go through cuntpunt:  its … Continue reading

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Aish Ha Torah Los Angeles – So Successful No One Goes There Anymore

I was chatting with a friend and asking him about Aish. "I don’t know," he said. "I don’t know anyone who goes there. Nobody does. They shut themselves off from the rest of the community. It’s a weird culty place." … Continue reading

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I’m Live On My Cam And Practicing My Kiddush

I have severe kiddush performance anxiety syndrome. Click here to join the conversation. I’m answering shailos and issuing teshuvos and bestowing semicha (rabbinic ordination) and converting goyim to Orthodox Judaism. All on my cam! All my decisions are honored by … Continue reading

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What Is Marc B. Shapiro’s Ideology?

He says he’s Modern Orthodox and he seems to me to be Modern Orthodox. And I guess that’s the answer to the question in my headline. I asked Marc about his ideology Saturday night and he essentially said he was … Continue reading

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