I was walking to shul on Pico Blvd this morning near two modestly dressed fat women in their thirties complaining about friends.

One said: "Even if a garment is loose and covers everything, it is not tznious (modest) if it is a certain color."

Other woman: "I agree."

First woman: "Some colors for painting your nails are not tznious."

Other woman: "I agree."

I wonder how much of the venom these chubbies directed towards their friends was coming from religious fervor and how much was from a desire that every other woman look as shlumpy as they do?

It reminds me of a friend in his 50s who I believe is a virgin. He recently complained to me that he wasn’t growing spiritually.

"Dude," I thought, "You need to grow sexually, not spiritually. Get yourself a woman and grow spiritually with her on Friday nights as the Torah commands."

Mary emails: Are there really colors of clothing that are considered immodest? I liked your post on that, because you’re right. The same thing happens in the Christian world. My sister went to a Christian college one year and left because the fat girls who always wore overalls were mean to her. They would yell “slut” out the window when she walked down the stairs in a skirt and tank top. And the funniest thing, is that my sister won’t drink alcohol or have premarital sex. It just goes to show that you can’t make judgments about people based on their clothing. Girls who are frumpy hate girls who are not.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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