Shalom’s latest book is Foreskin’s Lament.
He responds to some of my email questions:
Q: What’s new between you and God?
A: Nothing yet. But I have a flight tomorrow, so we’ll see. Check Drudge around noon for news of the crash/hijacking/explosion/disappearance.
Q: What do you love and hate about your life now?
A: Love my wife, and love my son. Hate questions about what I love and hate in my life right now.
Q: What did you love and hate about writing your memoir? What were the toughest parts to write? Why?
A: The point of the book (I don’t see it as a memoir, though it unfortunately falls into that genre) was to examine how I came, at 34 years of age, to believe the things I believe and fear the things that I fear. To do that, my family history was at least as important as my religious history (I love the reactionary believers who read the book and exclaim, “Wait! I caught him! He doesn’t hate God! He hates his family!” As if I put those stories about them in there by mistake, Sherlock), and at the same time, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Fortunately, as it turned out, nobody takes a bigger beating in the book than I do.
Q: Did you receive any advice on your memoir that you found useful and you think might be useful to others?
A: Having come from a world that fetishizes the dead, I have a difficult time looking to past writers for advice. But William Faulkner had a great line about writing, specifically about the women in his books that were clearly based, unflatteringly, on his mother: he said that the purpose of art was to reveal and to be honest, and that the Ode on a Grecian Urn was “worth any number of old ladies.” Go Bill.
Q: You believe in the existence of God? Do you feel grateful to Him for the good things in life?
A: “Believe” is probably too lofty a word. I am terrified that the God I was raised with might actually exist. He is insane, whether the people who believe in him want to admit that or not, and he is abusive; it is somewhat classic of an abusive relationship that after an evening of hits, slaps and drunken rages, the abuser apologizes, cleans up and makes a lovely dinner. But the abused knows that tomorrow will bring more of the same, and will not be surprised when it does.
Q: Which parts of the halachic life, if any, do you miss?
A: I miss the easy comfort of being told what to do and when to do it. I miss the security that absolute (if unfounded) faith offers. I also miss my blankey and pacifier, but I can’t go back to them, either.
Q: How have family and friends from childhood reacted to your memoir?
A: Predictably.
Q: Do you find yourself repeating your father’s fathering habits?
A: No. And you ask another smart-mouthed question like that, you little punk, and you’ll get the back of my hand.
Q: Your all time favorite niggun?
A: Right now I’m really into Tool.
Q: How do you determine what is right and wrong?
A: I consult a poorly written book compiled by terrified, ancient nomads and check to see what their schizophrenic, completely immoral, violent, vengeful God said I should and shouldn’t do. It’s just that easy. (As a side note, I find it a strange admission when religious folks insist that there would be no morality without the Ten Commandments, that without those commandments, there would be only raping and killing. I always find myself thinking, “That’s all that’s keeping you from raping and killing, Padre? A book? Shit, maybe you ought to turn yourself in to the local authorities. Seems you’ve got a pretty tenuous grip on yourself there.”)
Q: How is your soul?
A: My what?
I told Shalom to only answer the questions that interested him.
I gave him the same message on the first interview. He ended up answering all my questions, though not in great depth.
He wouldn’t give me an interview over the phone, saying he hated interviews, and that email interviews were the least bad form of interview.
Joe says:
I heard several audio interviews with Auslander. WNYC This American Life BBC Fresh Air
He didn’t sound like he hated it. Your questions were better.
What I thought was interesting about him was that he was married for 15 years before he had a child.
Shalom drove around with Charles McGrath of the New York Times on Rosh Hashanah but I was in shul then worshipping God and checking out the ladies.
Here are the questions Shalom did not answer this interview:
* Why do you hate interviews?
* If you were to write a script for a reality show, how would it go?
* Did this memoir reconnect you with anyone from childhood and was this
primarily good or bad?
* How would your closest friends describe you?
