Putting Limits On Your Patients

Josh emails: "Dear Mr. Ford: My therapist won’t let me give details of my sex life, she limits me to saying the emotional meaning of what happens… She’s the first therapist to put such a limit on me (most of my previous therapists were female and they had no objection to hearing the dirty details). Are these limits a normal thing for therapy? I think it’s important to say what is on my mind and I should feel free to talk about what is of most concern to me…and if the therp feels uncomfortable, then she needs to man up. What is important in therapy is not that the therapist feels comfortable but that the patient feels comfortable talking about what is on his mind and if what is on his mind is some mind-blowing physical event of the night before, then he should feel free to give details. What emotions are to women, sex is to men. Men find their emotions through sex and so when men describe the mechanics of some particular deed, then there’s probably a lot of emotional meaning behind him describing what went on, and the therapist should sit back cool and composed and take it all in. Chicks put too many limits on us manly men. We can’t all be fags, no matter how much some women want us to be."

A friend of mine has a shrink who won’t let her discuss her dog. I believe this is a valid limit.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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