Women Wanting To Be Treated With Respect

I hear a lot of complaints by women that they are only looked at as sexual objects. They wanted to be seen with respect.

Well, anyone who commands respect gets respect.

A woman with a PhD in math gets respect. A woman with no accomplishment gets no respect.

If a woman is angry that she is not getting treated with respect needs to start acting in ways that command respect.

Women want to get respect without earning it.

Danielle Berrin wrote in the Oct. 22, 2008 Jewish Journal about meeting director Brett Ratner: "He doesn’t seem to care that I’m a journalist on assignment or that when he offered to give me a tour of his Benedict Canyon manse, I was thrilled to explore the architecture: a Tudor-style estate designed by Hoover Dam architect Gordon Kaufman."

I guarantee that Danielle got treated with greater respect after she published this devastating profile.

Danielle’s gorgeous, but as she keeps accumulating journalistic scalps, even the most disreputable men will have to take her seriously. If she keeps up the good work, she’ll leave them no choice.

Here’s a summary of one of Dennis Prager’s recent shows: "Dennis opens up the lines for questions on the general subject of male female differences. Issues raised include: why do men objectify women; is the Playboy culture to blame for why so many men aren’t willing to commit to a woman; how does a woman handle a man who makes her feel uncomfortable; should husbands and wives romance their spouses after marriage."

On this show, Dennis got a heartbreaking call from someone identifying himself as Ken in New York: "Dennis, the last two women’s phone calls are a perfect dovetail for my question to you. Please help me formulate my question. I’m sitting here listening and I’m actually crying because I realized I called in just to ask a basic question about women, I realized how pervasive the titillation thing, the softcore porn, has played an effect in my life to the destruction of my marriage and to the dissolution of my family. I grew up in the Playboy era where it was natural to have Playboy books when you went to the barber. When I went to get my first haircut, it was all Playboy books. Then Penthouse came out. Even my grandparents had the magazine. Porn came in. I was programmed as a male to only look at women as sex objects. I’ve never been able to bridge that gap. It was in my marriage that I had to deal with a real live three-dimensional woman. I wasn’t up to the task. Aside from the fact that I’m bipolar and that I suffer from depression and the circumstances of my life growing up, my wife just divorced me after 20 years. That was three years ago. I haven’t had sex in years. And so I’m walking around angry and sullen and depressed repelling women. My original question to your screener was, what do women want? Do they want me to send the signal that I find them desirable? Or do I do the thing that I’ve always done and just be a perfect gentleman? And then I have no sex because I don’t send out the signal? I don’t want to be this angry guy. All during the last ten years of my marriage which were absolutely miserable, I just dreamed of pornographic fantasies being with numerous women and being a player and single. And that was going to bring my happiness.

"Once the marriage was over, I realized, wow, that is not what I want. Now that I have the opportunity to go on the internet and swing and do all this stuff, it’s the last thing I want. My fantasy now is to meet a woman who I can actually reveal every part of me to without fear of being rejected or judged."

The man chokes up.

Dennis: "What do you do for a living?"

Ken: "I have my own business. I’m a children’s educator. I’m my own employee."

Dennis: "Are you making a living?"

Ken: "Yeah."

"I’m renting a basement apartment somewhere. I’m not a player. I don’t have money."

After the break, Dennis said there are any number of men who have seen such magazines as Penthouse and have had beautiful marriages and many men who have never seen the magazines have had horrible marriages. "I don’t like it when people blame outside things."

"At your age, in your mid-forties, living in a basement apartment is going to be a challenge in attracting women. She’s going to want to see a more stable life, a life that has shown more that has been accomplished. There are a lot of things you have to work through."

Ken calls back to say he feels humiliated.

Dennis: "I never [humiliate]."

Butch up, Ken!

Austin in Anchorage says: "Nowadays it appears that women, I’ve had it happen to me personally, that women, once they get their husband, no longer maintain the effort to stay thin and beautiful. Men are automatically supposed to love them no matter what. Is that wrong for men to want their wives to stay beautiful?"

Dennis: "I can’t think of anything more wrong than trying to look your best to catch a man, catch a man, and then not trying to look your best again."

"People should date while they are married just as they dated before marriage. They should never take the other for granted, not for one second."

"If what you describe is accurate, you have to say, ‘You have cheated me. You took me for granted. You deceived me. You advertised yourself as X and then when I bought the product, I got Y."

"Nobody should think that no matter how they act, they have tenure in marriage."

Dennis then got a call from a woman taking him to task.

DP: "If the man is decent, he knows whether she is trying to look her best."

"You should act like you have to earn the love of your spouse every day of your marriage. Taking your spouse’s love for granted is a prescription for disaster."

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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