All of my life, with few exceptions, I have considered work a joke and I just can’t stop myself from making inappropriate jokes. Few of my bosses have appreciated this.
(I worked in radio news for three years and never made an inappropriate joke on the air. I never got fired from KAHI/KHYL. I quit in 1987 to concentrate on my schooling.)
Almost everything at work seems like a joke to me. I can’t stop.
Almost all of my bosses have hated this. They have kept complaining over the years, “Everything is a joke to you. Will you be laughing when I fire you?”
I’m best suited for working for myself.
My favorite topics for jokes are Muslims, homosexuals, pederasts and anything remotely sexual.
I was telling a coworker a while ago that he should take his three boys to Neverland.
Friend: “You have a problem, but it’s still funny.”
The only way I find to get through prosaic tasks is by wondering aloud which groups I would vote off the island in which order.
It just takes more willpower than I’ve got these days to suppress the phrase “queer with AIDS,” as in, “Sure, if I were a queer with AIDS, I’d be glad to help you with that.”
Friend: “If you would just treat your mouth like your penis, maybe you could finally restrain your inappropriate words.”
I said to this latino guy at work, “How’s your sister?” And he got all ticked off like I was about to suggest something immoral.
Note to self: Never ask your boss if his mother was able to find sparks with his step-dad.
I just put on my CPAP, got under the covers and then started snorting and spitting when I imagined myself saying to my latin friend, “Do you have any pictures of your sisters? I’m sure they’re very pretty just like you.”
At my last job, my boss would fire me 3-5 times a day for inappropriate humor.
I’m asking a representative sample of different groups, “Do you have any pictures of your sister?” and I will be charting their reactions. Which group do you think would react most negatively to such a question and what does that mean?
So I was in the sauna last night getting mentored by my rabbi…
