Guru Singh Is Tougher Than The Rabbis

I thought with Guru Singh I was getting cheap grace and hot babes.

The last part is correct, but his prescriptions for our life are rigorous.

Last night he prescribed starting the day around 3 am with a hearty vomit, then following it up with a cold shower and stretching exercises.

Oy ve!

I was going ease into this routine with a cold finish to my morning shower but I forgot.

I met one Sikh last night who told me he only showered in the backyard under a hose.

I did that for a month four years ago when my bathroom was being repaired. I didn’t feel much spiritual benefit.

I’m too tired right now to do any stretching exercises. Just typing this blog post is stretching my limits.

Normally I eat my third meal of the day around 5 pm. Yesterday I skipped it thinking I was still full from my 1:30 pm lunch of oatmeal.

Big mistake. I started feeling light-headed and giddy at yoga and couldn’t stop talking. I got the flushed excited over-extended feel I get when I am in a compulsive mood.

PS. I misunderstood the Guru and owe him an apology. He doesn’t recommend starting the day with a vomit. He recommends brushing out your mouth with a toothbrush including the back of your throat until you retch a little bit, but it’s not a full-out technicolor yawn.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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