I attend a weekly parshah group. This past Thursday, I saw a young Russian woman who’d been absent from the class for a few weeks. She immediately asked if I had missed her.
Well, I go to this class to deepen my knowledge of Torah, not to pick up chicks, but it is a very important Torah precept to greet everyone with a friendly countenance.
I tell her that I’ve missed her terribly.
She’s converting to Judaism and I feel fatherly towards her and try to guide her best as I can.
So, a few minutes into class, we’re passing notes back and forth and her foot is firmly lodged against my foot under the table. On top of the table, our Holy Torah is being discussed.
The arguments thrust back and forth.
I take my pen and push it into her leg, trying to get her to concentrate more carefully on the beauty of the Hebrew and the profoundity of the moral insights.
Instead of this having its desired effect, it only makes her more playful. So I pinch her.
She loves it!
Needless to say, leader, I spent the entire class running my hands under the table all over her silky smooth legs which must’ve been bathed in some tropical lotion because I smell like a fruit right now.
This is why the Leader prescribes same-sex Torah classes.
Joe emails: "The gemara says that Eliyahu Hanavi was asked why Moshiach hasn’t come since its Yom Kippur and everyone is repenting, so he answered that even through the fast, etc, there are people “hooking up” even on Yom Kippur."
As Rabbi Dr. Marc Gafni puts it: "To love is to become God