A Jew In Inglewood

Amy Dresner writes: My first night in Inglewood, I hugged a crackhead. Let me explain. I headed to 7-11 for a late-night snack snoop because I have no curfew now and can do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want! A very skinny black guy with glossy eyes sporting an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, asked me for money.

“Hey, excuse me, miss. Can I get 65 cents for a hot dog?

I hand him a dollar and say, ”I used to be a drug addict. I get it.”

A huge smile comes over his face.

“Thank you for your compassion. Can I get a hug?”

So I hugged him.

One day, I go to get some spare keys made at a nearby kiosk. This guy is stocked with everything you’d need if you were up to no good: druggie bags in every size, stun guns, pepper spray, batons, handcuffs, fake police badges, ropes, pipes.

“Quite a selection, brother,” I say impressed.

He laughs. “Variety is the spice of life.”

“Wish I’d known about this place before I got on the straight and narrow,“ I said.

I join the local 24 Hour Fitness. It’s not my swanky West Hollywood gym with free towels and wifi and pretty actors. The weights are left everywhere. It’s 99% black. And you check in with your fingerprint. Uhhh, ok. Every time I go to workout, the black guy at the desk fistbumps me. I’ve never felt so stupid or white in my life. There is also a security guard in the cardio room. I guess there are a lot of brawls and stabbings on the treadmills? I’m confused and a little terrified. Nobody fucks with me though. I’m invisible here.

About Luke Ford

I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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