* Luke: “I’m going out tonight.”
Friend: “Don’t be yourself. Make believe you are somebody else.”
Miriam Lilian D Or: Whenever you show empathy, I worry thinking something may be wrong with you.
* Friend: What are your goals in this?
Luke: I think I’ll go for a hug.
* Instead of texting with my partner aka bittul Torah, I will send her photos of sforim I’m studying.
* Converting Sephardi. Is that like becoming black?
* I remember the early 90s, when the primary concern of White “conservatives” was fighting abortion everywhere, not securing our borders. Why should whites get all uppity about what blacks choose to do with their own bodies, abort or whatnot. Put down your white racist privilege!
* I ran into some bums (not literally, I did not touch them) and I still can’t get their stink out of my nostrils.
* UPDATE: The bums insisted on shaking my hand. I head to the kitchen to disinfect and the bums follow me for the free coffee and they catch me pouring detergent all over my hands and so I explain how sweaty I get at work, and just when I think they’re leaving, they insist on coming back and shaking my hand again, and I have to get up before I touch anything else and delouse again.
* I accused my mate down under of not being multi-cultural. He said: “I am multi-cultural like the ancient Romans. I don’t care about your race or religion, but if you want to live among us, you have to follow our rules, just like everyone else, respect our customs and mores, and go to our courts, not have your own judicial system and your own courts and punishments.”
* Miriam Lilian D Or: “I will not be voting for him [Trump]. Usually, I vote republican. But, this man should have started with local politics first. He needs to politically refine himself. I agree with the things he has said about illegal immigrants and Mexico. But, he is not tactful in how he expresses himself and constantly puts himself in controversy because of his lack of political savvy. We need a president with more political experience and who won’t have to be correcting his faux pas. Basically, learn how to avoid being misquoted. Yelling “you’re fired” on reality shows does not correlate to going on diplomatic trips with our foreign partners. He would only end up being a liability and an embarrassment. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s over. Time to spend time on more serious contenders.”
* When you have a pilot flying you across country, do you want someone who is chewing the fat before the flight with all the passengers, or someone who is at the cockpit, studying and getting ready for the flight?
* A friend is concerned by his unnecessary tension patterns. I said: “Dude, look on the bright side. You walk around prepared at any moment to enter into a wrestle.”
* Note to self: Never tell anyone whose dad is in military intelligence: “Your mom is hot!” WASPs don’t appreciate it.
* If you tend to under-earn and to under-value yourself, know that this tendency is progressive, will isolate you, and may well kill you. But God wants you to be happy, joyous and free.
* I ask my brother if he’s been on any exciting dates lately.
Bro: “I just bought a used forklift.”
* Can a goy take a Jew to a Beit Din (Jewish law court)?
* I try to explain to my mate down under what a “Beit Din” (Jewish law court) is.
Mate: “So if we one Jew rips off another Jew, they can go to this court?”
Luke: “Yes.”
Mate: “They must be pretty busy.”
* If you don’t want to put your hand over your heart during the National Anthem, if you don’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July as American holidays, please leave America.
