* Secretary: “My boyfriend was pushing a car and the jerk braked and my boyfriend suffered a major injury. He had to have surgery to repair his shoulder. He got a big ol’ scar.”
Turning to me, she says with a smile: “Never help anyone!”
My friend laughs. “Don’t worry. That’s not a problem for Luke.”
* I love how our national women’s soccer teams tastefully puts on make-up (at least the straight ones) before every game.
* Is there an app that will stop my computer from ever showing me pictures of two dudes kissing on the lips?
* Stating my various forms of emotional addiction wouldn’t go over too well in Tannum Sands, Australia.
* If you see a friend who’s been punched in the face by his wife, is it OK to say, “I wonder what she looks like”?
* I was explaining to my brother in Tannum Sands Sunday that half the people I know in LA are artists struggling to make a living from their art (and are in various 12-step groups). Not many such persons in outback Australia.
* Our eyes connected and we shared a big smile. I wonder if she’s Jewish?
* I’ve ended up making fun of every group I’ve ever joined.
* Some kids next door are watching the Futurama cartoon, which has some great dialogue, such as:
Bloke A: “I just want to be friends.”
Bloke B: “I don’t need friends. I need a sex change operation now!”
* Woman in Futurama to tranny bloke: “Do you promise to get out of my gender and stay out?”
