A couple of years ago, a Jewish woman in Montreal emailed me. She’d seen me on Canadian TV a couple of times and read about me online and wanted to know more. I email her back. She wanted to talk on the phone. We did.
She wants to talk on Yahoo Messenger every night. She had a cam set up.
We had nothing in common. And I didn’t like to chat on the internet unless it was with someone I love or on a subject about which I’m passionate. But because she was cute, I’d chat with her a bit. I’d ask her to shake her long curly hair and maybe I asked her to do a few other things I don’t remember. She cut the chats off abruptly and said she was going back to her ex-boyfriend.
I didn’t think twice. She was annoying.
Months went by. She’d email me intermittently. I’d reply politely.
Last night she arrived in L.A. We spoke on the phone and I drove down to Marina Del Rey to meet her tonight. And after a few minutes, she starts laying into me. That I told her I was too pathetic to find a wife. That I had asked her to do pervy things on Yahoo Messenger and that’s why she had to cut me off. And I’m asking myself, why did I drive down here to sit in a non-kosher restaurant to be insulted by someone I don’t want to sleep with?
If I were a man, I would’ve walked off, but I stuck it out for an hour and we parted with a hug.
It’s not uncommon that I’ll go meet a woman and she’ll roll over me like a bulldozer. She’ll yakk on her cell phone. She’ll do chores. She’ll write letters. She’ll tell me what’s wrong with me.
And all this while she’s covered in sweat and grease after a 40-minute bike ride.
