* My response to the suffering in Nepal is to say some prayers. I hope the Jews are OK.
* I truly intended to hit that 7:30 am Friday meeting on procrastination.
* I was telling this Orthodox rabbi my view on the Afterlife (that we all get what we deserve, experience all the pain and joy we’ve brought others), and he said, “This is not a healthy preoccupation for you. You should instead ask Hashem to help you make a good parnassah (living) so you can marry and have children.”
* Robert Reich upon meeting Alan Greenspan: “We have never met before, but I instantly knew him … He is New York. He is Jewish. He looks like my uncle Louis, his voice is my uncle Sam. I feel we’ve been together at countless weddings, bar mitzvahs, and funerals. I know his genetic structure. I’m certain that within the last five hundred years … we shared the same ancestor.”
* Jewish scientists prefer to quote other Jewish scientists.
* When Moshiach comes, we will miss the Days of Galus (Exile), when the goyim carried our bags, adjusted our air conditioners on Shabbat, and dunked basketballs for our amusement.
* A beard is a spiritual antennae. The longer the beard, the more heavenly frequencies you receive.
Christopher Donnellan: “So, those hobos on skid row with those long matted beards must be closest to the almighty?”
Of course not. They’re goyim.
