Sam Vaknin: Narcissists invariably react with narcissistic rage to narcissistic injury. Narcissists see themselves as perfect and entitled to special recognition, regardless of his accomplishments. Any threat to this perception is a narcissistic injury. A narcissistic wound is a repeated threat to the narcissist’s false self. A narcissistic scar is a recurrent defense against a narcissistic wound, intended to preserve the narcissist’s grandiose self-perception, to preserve the narcissist’s false self.
The narcissist actively solicits narcissistic supply, admiration, attention, compliments, or fear. He solicits this to sustain his fragile ego. Thus the narcissist constantly courts possible rejection, criticism, disagreement, or mockery. The narcissist is therefore dependent on other people. He is aware of the risks associated with such dependence. He resents this dependence. He dreads disruption of the flow of his drug, narcissistic supply. He’s caught between the rock of his addiction and his feeling of superiority. No wonder that the narcissist is prone to raging and envy.
The narcissist’s thinking is magical. He views himself as perfect. Compliments that accord with this false self are taken for granted. Having anticipated the praise as fully justified, he feels that he has made the kudos happen. He annexes positive input. He feels that the source of this input is internal. He feels that he generated it. He is responsible for it. The narcissist takes positive narcissistic supply for granted. But the narcissist treats disharmonious input differently. He accords a far greater weight to this destabilizing information because they are felt to him to be more real. He takes any slight as more real. The narcissist is constantly on the lookout for slights. He is hyper-vigilant. He perceives every critical remark as complete and humiliating rejection of his entire false self. His mind turns into a battlefield of paranoia. Most narcissists react defensively. They become aggressive and cold. They detach emotionally for fear of yet another narcissistic injury. They give you the silent treatment. They devalue the person who made the unflattering observation.
