From what I have seen, the ideal number of sexual partners for a lifetime is one. The more partners a person has, in general, the more screwed up they are.
In my experience, the more sexual partners a woman, the more messed up she is (in an obvious and marked way that is often not true for men). The deterioriation wreaked on promiscuous women is often revealed on her face and figure and psyche. For a woman, every new sexual partner is like losing a petal off her rose.
I’ve noticed with promiscuous men that they develop a more cynical attitude to life with every female conquest but they don’t seem as messed up as ladies who sleep around.
The gorgeous journalist Catherine Rampell writes for the Washington Post:
Last week I wrote about a study that looked at marital quality (essentially a measure of how happy couples were a few years into their marriage) in light of couples’ premarital histories. The report, which tracked 418 young couples in the several years following their marriage, found that certain prenuptial behaviors (like having kids out of wedlock) were associated with lower marital quality.
One association the authors identified was particularly unsettling: “the more sexual partners a woman had had before marriage, the less happy she reported her marriage to be.” The same was not true for men…
It might be tempting to interpret the above findings as indicating that “promiscuous” women are doomed to have unhappy marriages. I have serious philosophical issues with that conclusion, but there are methodological problems as well.
I suspect Ms. Rampell took this study personally, as women are wont to do.
This reminds me of Steve “Sailer’s Law of Female Journalism: The most heartfelt articles by female journalists tend to be demands that social values be overturned in order that, Come the Revolution, the journalist herself will be considered hotter-looking.”
As for the argument that everyone does it, I don’t think that’s true. Seventh-Day Adventists, for example, don’t tend to do it before marriage, nor do most Orthodox Jews.
Men are geared from the get-go for poosy variety (though not all men will fulfill their directive and not all are geared in fifth) and therefore have the cortical capacity to easily tolerate the comings and goings of numerous lovers without having a breakdown or fretting constantly about how well new lovers match up to old lovers. Men occasionally reminisce about a teenage fling, but they don’t endlessly bemoan that one “alpha female” who got away like women are prone to do with their long-gone alpha male lovers.
This is why a man with a promiscuous past is not necessarily a bad bet as a marriage prospect, and also explains — along with the fact of maternity assurance — why women don’t care as much about men’s sexual histories as men care about women’s sexual histories. A man can sample the slits and furrows of outrageous fortune and survive the whirlwind of passion to mark a day in the future when he contentedly and without pathological second-guessing slips into a stabler, longer term commitment.
Women who have sampled a poo poo platter of penes accumulate emotional scars that never heal; promiscuous women have a mental storage closet filled with five minute montages of alpha male love, and these exciting, prurient memories rob the female id of something important. Call it purity or innocence or self-worth or ability to appreciate romantic idealism, the slut with ass chafing from riding the cock carousel is never the same as she was before she let herself get pummeled by dick. No uxorious beta male she settles down with in nuptial risk will have power over her senses like her past alpha lovers enjoyed. She is damaged goods