I notice that when I get around family, we all tend to act according to the patterns we developed decades ago.
As I fly to Australia tonight, I want to see my family with fresh eyes. I want to see if I can let go of my habitual responses that have not served me (or anyone else). If I get frustrated with a situation that I can’t change, I will seek to shift my attitude.
I know I’m a sick puppy. Narcissistic Personality Disorder may well not be curable.
I’m not the same person as when I saw them last. They have all changed in their own ways. I have ten years of psycho-therapy. I can draw on the insights I’ve learned to become a better person. It is time for me to let go of my grudges and to see everyone with fresh eyes.
* Here’s something interesting to consider, this may be your real chance to make a living amends to your family and focus on true hasid – be kind and loving to them no matter what. Show what it means to love free of judgement with compassion kindness and willingness to not engage in anything about you. Think of it as a service trip, how you can serve them every moment in the moment, and when the fear or resentment comes up, rid yourself that is not your primary purpose on this trip, your purpose is to love on them, forgive yourself and them each day, and ask G-d to speak for you before you talk, invite G-d on the trip and into every relationship and encounter – let Him do the work, your job is to keep your opinions to yourself restraint of pen and tongue and you aren’t allowed the luxury of taking their inventory, is it reasonable to expect that they would act differently? Keep your side clean, and focus on service and tzedukah.
