Conspiracy Theories

* I can hear my Uncle Val telling me from beyond the grave — “Keep your bowels open and your mouth shut!” He was a communist. The Fords are genetically attracted to marginal unpopular conspiracy theories because they prove to us that we’re smarter than everyone else.

* When I last traveled (in 2000) to Australia on my family’s dime, I had a more inflated view of myself. At age 34, it was possible to believe I was the great man. At age 48, self-importance is harder to maintain in the face of mounting failures.

* There’s a Jew –former kibbutznik — where I’m going down under, but she’s married to a non-Jew and has kids and I’m told it would be a bit weird to call her up when I arrive and say shalom. Yet, I’m making a list of Jews to call for when the moshiach comes and I want to add her to the list.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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