I Just Shaved My Head

The Israeli barber was rude, saying he was booked all day. If I didn’t have an appointment, he couldn’t serve me. Nor could his co-worker. They were too busy for the likes of me. Two years I’ve been going there! So I’m cutting my own hair. What could possibly go wrong?

I get my Norelco beard trimmer and set it to “5” and shave my head. It’s been six months since I last got a haircut. I hate spending $60 a year (for three haircuts) when I could just do it myself. It looks great! I feel like Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver.

I Shaved My Head Feb. 17

All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take ’em to Harlem. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me.

You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the f*** do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.

Listen, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth. Here is a man who stood up.

Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man.

I’m standing here; you make the move. You make the move. It’s your move…

The idea had been growing in my brain for some time: TRUE force. All the king’s men cannot put it back together again.

The days go on and on… they don’t end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don’t believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people.

I first saw her at Palantine Campaign headquarters at 63rd and Broadway. She was wearing a white dress. She appeared like an angel. Out of this filthy mess, she is alone. They… cannot… touch… her.

I realize now how much she’s just like the others, cold and distant, and many people are like that, women for sure, they’re like a union.

Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me.

I wonder if Jews are smarter because the less intelligent among us converted to Christianity.

I wish I had a just little more hair so my hair clips would keep my yarmulke on.

The white people I know rarely wear strong perfume or cologne, but many of the blacks and Persians I know do.

Big Cadillacs are huge with black men, I see, but unpopular with whites.

“Most black guys smell pretty nice, and they seem to get the trashy, crazy white girls easy enough. Possibly related? Either way, I want the trashy, crazy white girls for me. I’m at a loss here?”

I can’t think of any movie directors who got better with age, certainly not past 60.

According to OKCupid’s analysis of my personality (profile LukefromOz), I am:
More Thrifty
More Friendly To Strangers
More Ambitious
More Capitalistic
More Spiritual
More Arrogant
More Political
More Pure
More Love-Driven
More Old-Fashioned
Less Kind
Less Kinky
Less Romantic
Less Experienced In Life
Less Compassionate
Less Progressive

I just got this from OKCupid:

Hey LukeFromOz,

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You’ll see more attractive people in your match results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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