Therapist Jerry Wise says: “Your ability to let go of resentment has a lot to do with what you learned in your family of origin.”
Even if we are not conscious of our resentments, they take a toll on us, causing fatigue, obsession, depression, a negative attitude to life, loss of love, emotional distance, reactivity, divorce, and out of control feelings leading to suicide or murder. “Bitterness is resentment on steroids.”
“Our current resentments have a great place to stick when we have unresolved family of origin resentments. They create a flypaper, a sticky substance, for [new] resentments to stick to.”
It can be hard to stop resenting your spouse when that resentment is stuck to a resentment you have to a parent.
“It is important to get under the resentment to the primary feelings of shame, fear and abandonment. Resentment is a secondary emotion.”
