Rosh Hashanah begins Wednesday evening. For the next three days, I’ll be off-line. I won’t be going to work. I won’t be answering my phone. I won’t be updating my blog or my Facebook.
Most people who try to reach me during this three days off-line are fine when I don’t get back to them until after the holiday, but other people take it as a personal rejection. Which type of people are most likely to take my silence as rejection? The anxiously attached aka people like me.
I have an anxious attachment style. I worry about my loved ones being there for me and when they don’t answer when I call or email, I start to worry after about 24 hours of silence.
The emotionally avoidant place a premium on their independence and don’t like to acknowledge feelings of vulnerability so they’re unlikely to reproach for not getting back to them sooner. For the securely attached, they don’t mount any protest behavior over my delayed response.
KENDRA CHERRY WRITES: During the 1970’s, psychologist Mary Ainsworth further expanded upon Bowlby’s groundbreaking work in her now-famous “Strange Situation” study. The study involved observing children between the ages of 12 to 18 months responding to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mother.
Based on these observations, Ainsworth concluded that there were three major styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment. Researchers Main and Solomon (1986) added a fourth attachment style known as disorganized-insecure attachment. Numerous studies have supported Ainsworth’s conclusions and additional research has revealed that these early attachment styles can help predict behaviors later in life.
