Sitting in Starbucks Monday, I sipped Passion Iced Tea and listened to a Tony Robbins lecture on communication.
He began by asking why do we communicate? I stopped his lecture and thought about why do I write? I was stumped. I felt like I wrote out of compulsion. I didn’t have further insight.
Tony said we communicate for three reasons: (1) To expand a good feeling; (2) to dissipate a bad feeling; and (3) to create something.
If those are my three choices for why I write, I thought, then more than 90% of the reason I write is to dissipate bad feelings.
I didn’t have a happy childhood and so I learned early on to escape from my environment by losing myself in fantasies. I would sit in a chair in the living room and tell myself stories for hours and my parents were happy because during that time I was no trouble.
I started writing out my stories and my mother typed up my first one. It ran about 20 typed pages and was about an imaginary rafting trip I took with my best friend Wayne. I got a lot of kudos for the story.
In school, I got more praise and attention for my writing. So I learned from this that I was good at writing and I could get positive re-enforcement for my efforts. This did not change as I grew older so to this day a major reason I write is for applause (gifts, trips, money, etc).
In eight grade, I decide to make my career in journalism. This increased my commitment to developing my writing because this would be how I made my living.
After high school, I started getting paid for my writing. From 1997 to 2007, I made my primary living from writing. Since 2007, I’ve made much of my income from writing.
Through the practice of writing over the decades, I learned that if I wrote, there was a good chance I would make money from it, meet girls, make friends, engender opportunities, and reap praise.
Throughout my life, I’ve been enamored of various ideas, sometimes contradictory, and I would write to spread these ideas. Other times, I would write to discover something. Clarity brings me inner peace and writing helps me get clear.
