I write frequently about social status — I feel keenly that I don’t have enough — and people keep asking me what I mean by “social status”. America is supposedly a classless society. What do I mean by terms like “loser”?
Let me tell you from experience:
A loser shows up to Shabbat meals at shul that he can’t pay for.
A loser latches on to people who don’t want to be latched on to.
A loser sends out more friend requests than he receives.
A loser targets high status people for friend requests hoping that a Facebook connection will somehow lift his own status.
A loser gropes women without their permission.
A loser gets thrown out of places.
A loser tries to get close to rabbis knowing that as soon they find out who he is, they will boot him.
A loser can’t find friends his own age because they’re all married with children and mortgages.
A loser joins cults because he longs for acceptance.
A loser gets taken in by pyramid schemes.
A loser watches an hour of pornography a day.
A loser consults a psychic when he loses his acquaintanceship with Dennis Prager.
A loser walks into a crowded room and no one wants to talk to him.
A loser flunks out two days prior to his scheduled graduation because of an inappropriate blog post.
A loser says “Gut Shabbos” to people who say nothing in return and avoid his gaze.
A loser gets a girlfriend and then finds for years that he can think about little else. His life is that empty of human connection. “You don’t have any friends, do you?” she says.
A loser develops a best friend for a few months who then says upon his expulsion from the shul, “Let me tell you about the feeling in this house — I don’t trust you, my wife hates you, my kids fear you.”
