Lost in the Crowd

After an evening of annoying phone calls taking me away from my book (Howard Kurtz’s Spin Cycle), I leave the house at 9:15 p.m. for a going away party at Jeff’s Gourmet for a 29-year old acquaintance.

Jeff’s is jammed. It’s a happening joint six nights a week for the youngies.

After snagging a $2 diet lemon-lime Snapple, I stand around awkwardly with the 20-somethings, fighting off my base urges to pick up my book and read until somebody says something interesting.

For the next hour, I listen to fragmentary small talk and make the odd ejaculation, such as to a 50-year old man nearby, "How do you keep your body so hard?"

Anne: "Levi, that’s so gay."

Jane: "If you want material for your blog, you should hang out on Hollywood Blvd at 2 a.m. I got called a slutty nun."

Jason: "You’d make a lot of money."

The girls laugh. "Yeah, you look like a hobo. No girl is going to want you looking like that."

It’s time to return to my books.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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