Saying A Reluctant Goodbye To My ‘F*** You’ Beard

On the show last night, Rabbi Rabbs said: “I look at your beard as a ‘F*** you’ beard where you can walk around town and you don’t have to say, ‘F*** you’, the beard says it for you. It says, ‘I’m a Jew. I passed my conversion. F*** you.’

“And you walk up and down Pico with this thing and you want it to reach down to the sidewalk so that people trip over it.

“Now that’s going to be gone and you’re going to be dealing with ol’ Shmuckles the goyisha face. This is the face that belongs in p***.”

Luke: “But I think that Jews will be able to respect it because I’m getting money out of the deal.”

Rabbi: “That’s the most stereotypical thing I’ve ever heard.”

Luke: “I’m learning to think like a Jew.”

Rabbi: “Because Jews are always trying to get the money into it?”

Luke: “It’s not insignificant. If you could make a few thousand dollars by trimming off your beard, [it’s a mitzva].”

Watch the whole show.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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