Do You Spend Too Much Time On Facebook?

If so, I don’t think the solution for most people is to shut down their Facebook accounts.

I think the important thing is to go deeper.

Spending too much time on Facebook is just a symptom. For me, it is a symptom of a clumsy attempt to connect while keeping people at arm’s length.

Why are you chatting on Facebook instead of interacting with people in the real world?

I’m often too tired to go out and socialize but I don’t want to stay home alone. So I keep my Facebook open and check in when I want to connect a little bit to recharge my batteries.

I’m also susceptible to wasting time (whether on Facebook or elsewhere) if I am not passionate about my goals. It’s not just that goals need to be specific and measurable and the other characteristics of action goals. It is more important that they be deep. If I have the action goal of buying a Jaguar, that’s OK, but what am I really after in buying a Jaguar? Do I want to feel like an important person? Do I want to impress the world so I am treated better? Well, these latter matters are the true goal and we’d be better served by going after these true goals than fixating on action goals.

We may set goals that we’re not passionate about. They’re just goals that have been suggested to us. That would make our family or friends or community happy. But they are not goals that truly motivate us. If we have dirty goals, goals where our subconscious is actively sabotaging our stated goals, then we’re likely to screw around and waste time on Facebook and Youtube and the like.

If we’re fired up with goals that truly motivate us and speak to our deepest yearnings, we’re less likely to waste time. We’re not going to want to be distracted from pursuing our deepest desires.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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