Link: Basketball player Chris Washburn, commenting on his ability to drive to the basket, “Yeah, I can go to my right and my left. That’s because I’m amphibious.”
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Senior basketball player at the University of Michigan
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996.
“You guys line up alphabetically by height.”
“You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: “I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school.”
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my #%@# clothes.”
Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: “I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”
Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
1992 – Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: “We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play.”
1982 – Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
1981 – Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: “He wants Texas back.”
1966 – Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: “One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?”
1981 – Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team’s co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: “I’m going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time.”
1991 – Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”
1986 – Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: “I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.”
1991 – Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights, as opposed to Sunday afternoons: “It’s basically the same, just darker.”
1996 – Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: “I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I’d get shot.”
1991 – Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son’s reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: “He said: ‘Gosh, Dad, that means we’re not going to any more bowl games.”
1986 – LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: “They can’t fire me because my family buys too many tickets.”
1991 – Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.'”
1991 – Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, of his coach, John Jenkins: “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”
1987 – Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: “Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”
A 6’11” center, Washburn was one of the top three high school recruits in the country in 1984 along with John Williams (LSU) and Danny Manning (Kansas). He signed with North Carolina State University in Raleigh along with future NBA stars Vinny Del Negro and Nate McMillan to form one of the best recruiting classes in the nation on a team that also included Spud Webb. An incredibly gifted athlete, Washburn combined incredible size with blazing speed for a big man with soft hands.
According to some of his former teammates, however, Washburn was a student in name only. It is alleged that he almost never attended classes. Even so, Washburn remained eligible to play. During his time at N.C. State, he was caught stealing a stereo, which resulted in his being sentenced to 46 hours in jail, a five-year suspended prison term and five years of probation. During his trial, the Wake County district attorney introduced as evidence Washburn’s SAT scores, which were below 500 (out of 1600, with 400 being the starting score).[2] “The coaches over there told me, ‘You already signed, you’re already in school, you just have to take the test just to get into college,’ ” Washburn said later. When they told me it didn’t matter what score I was getting, I went in for about 22 minutes. I just marked down [answers] … mark, mark, mark.”[3]
His work ethic was also called into question.[4] Recruiting analyst Bob Gibbons claimed that Washburn was “never as good as his reputation,” even as a high-school All-American. Gibbons was blasted by many N.C. State fans for suggesting that Washburn was going to break the Wolfpack basketball program, in response to coach Valvano‘s claim that Washburn would make the program.[5]
The one full season Washburn played with the Wolfpack demonstrated his potential. He averaged 17.6 points a game and 6.7 rebounds, sharing time in the front court with future NBA players Charles Shackleford and Chucky Brown. Washburn’s best outing was against future top NBA draft pick Brad Daugherty and UNC on Feb. 23, 1986. Before a nationally-televised audience, Washburn scored 26 points as the Wolfpack upset the then-ranked #1 Tar Heels 76-65.
Washburn’s case was one of many detailed by Peter Golenbock in his book, Personal Fouls, that effectively ended Valvano’s career in 1990. While several errors in the book eventually led publishing house Simon and Schuster to drop the book, (it was finally published by Pocket Books), no one disputed Washburn’s poor status as a student. In January 1989, Richard Lauffer, a former chair of the physical-education department at N.C. State, claimed Washburn’s grades had been altered to maintain the player’s eligibility.[6]
Washburn left N.C. State after the 1985-86 season and was selected by the Golden State Warriors with the 3rd overall pick of the 1986 NBA Draft. Washburn was the third consecutive Atlantic Coast Conference player taken in the 1986 draft, following UNC center Brad Daugherty (Cleveland Cavaliers) and Maryland forward Len Bias (Boston Celtics).
The Warriors brought in center Joe Barry Carroll to help with Washburn’s development, but it was to no avail. The highlight of Washburn’s career may have come during an October exhibition game in his rookie season against the Knicks. During a 23-point loss, Washburn scored 16 points. Tendinitis in his knee resulted in Washburn taking anti-inflammatory medicine which led to a kidney infection in January 1987. On January 28, 1987, Washburn checked into a Van Nuys, California drug rehabilitation clinic, admitting he had a cocaine problem. After returning to the Warriors in late March, Washburn was still ineffective.
He played 72 games over two seasons (one and a half with the Warriors and part of another with the Atlanta Hawks), averaging 3.1 points and 2.4 rebounds per game. He is widely considered to be one of the biggest busts in NBA draft history. In 2005 Sports Illustrated named him the second-biggest NBA draft bust of all time.[7]
During his time with the Hawks, Washburn was asked by the media how he felt about the team playing an exhibition game in The Soviet Union. Washburn snarled “Russia? I ain’t going to no Russia!”[8]
Washburn was banned from the NBA for life in June 1989 after failing three drug tests in three years. By the mid-1990s, Washburn was still trying to scrape together a basketball career in various minor professional leagues.
Washburn has reformed from his drug habit since 2000, and working in the mortgage business in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.[9] He speaks to addicts weekly at the Dallas Life Foundation Center.
