I Want To Move To Hawaii

There are no Alexander Technique teachers in Hawaii. I’ll have the market all to myself. My mentors warn me against the move. They say there’s not a sufficient market there to support me in the style to which I have become accustomed.

I love the tropics. I love the beach. I love the sun and surf and sand and the girls in bikinis yearning to be free.

In Hawaii, I’d be almost halfway home to Australia and to my friends and family.

I wonder how many single Jewish women there are in Hawaii? Would it be a good place to find a wife? Would it be good for my writing or would it lead to lassitude? I don’t particularly care for New York, but it would be good for my writing, I’d move there.

I want to get an MFA in Creative Writing. Will I stay in Los Angeles, a hotbed of Orthodox Judaism, or will I go live among the goyim? I feel drunk with possibilities.

Here are my main concerns — will it be good for my Judaism? For my writing? For my marriage? For my career? For my happiness?

Why aren’t I thinking about moving to Israel? Why am I dreaming about banging shiksas in Hawaii when I could be studying Torah in Jerusalem?

Jeff emails: So why not move to Tel Aviv and practice Alexander Technique on the bikinis on the beach — every one of them is certified kosher.

The planet is a glove; Israel is closer to Oz than Honolulu; only seven time zones away, mate.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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