How To Spot The Orthodox From Birth

We’re talking FFBs (Frum From Birth).

Heshy Fried writes about how he spots FFBs in the San Francisco Bay Area:

They come into shul late and immediately daven mincha without a siddur or saying ashrei first.

They go through a whole shabbos lunch without touching their napkin, let alone placing it on their lap right after washing.

If entering shul during kedusha, they stop right in their tracks rather than walking to their seat

They mutter ya’ale vayavo out loud to remind everyone around them to say it

They jump for joy at the sight of moscato diasti in a blue bottle (especially in the Bay where everyone is into wine and it’s hard to eat a table with cruddy stuff)

They say something non-politically correct out loud (BT’s are hush-hush about stuff like eating non-organically grown rice)

They serve soda at their meals.

They call junk food – nosh!

They are talking during shul, learning during laining and always looking at whoever comes in. (they are bored)

They are comfortable enough to pace back forth in the back of the shul during davening (such a hocker thing to do)

They say things like “our minhag is”

They don’t have PhD’s (it seems like everyone else does)

They don’t eat vegetables – beyond potatoes (unless they are modern orthodox or something).

They serve cake at the main meal and call it kugel.

They never say chavorai when benching with a mezumen. (it’s very un-PC not to include the ladies you know)

They clop the bimah when something extra needs to be said (In some of the BT filled shuls no one does it)

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
This entry was posted in Orthodoxy and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.