The Joys And Oys Of Moving To Israel?

I talked to a new friend who’s made aliyah.

He tells me: its got ups and downs
everything almost everything in jerusalem is kosher
but its still expensive
but i like going to the shop across from me and everything having a hechsher.

i like the fact that i can go into a pub and 90 percent of the girls are jewish.
I like the fact that shabbat is taken seriously even by secular people here.

but with that all said the bureaucratic stuff is garbage
and many israelis sadly are gonifs
looking to pick off friars
noone totally trusts each other here
olim willl be your social scene
ulpan for me was a massive disappointment
and u work long hrs for very little pay
but the health care system works very nicely
the buses are decent when they are not late
and i like the realistic honesty that israelis approach life
u meet few luftmenschen

what disappointed you about ulpan?

padagogically flawed
impatient teachers
i was learning more russian for a couple of weeks then hebrew
israelis prefer to speak in broken english
then accented or broken hebrew
israelis are sort of like the french in that regard
the single biggest group of influence are moroccan jews in jerusalem
very french and very arab at the same time
and also very jewish
they barter over everything
the ashkenazim stick to the middle of the country and tel aviv
the rest of the country is arsim and kibbutzniks and russians
the haredem and settlers stick to themselves
and the ethiopians dont talk to anyone for some reason
anglos here are a funny bunch
u have hell bent for leather south africans
and zionistic brits
old lefty hippies
kahane wannabes
kids of israelis who were expected to go home
when the parents made yerida
does that sum it up?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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