I went to an exciting Valentine’s Day party the other week. It was so fun, I kept it to myself and didn’t blog about it.
The host of the party was a fascinating woman named Antoinette Cabral.
I wanted to talk to her but there wasn’t an opportunity.
So a couple of weeks later, I asked her for an interview.
A few minutes before our interview was scheduled to begin, I got a phone call from Antoinette.
“Luke,” she said. “My stomach hurts. I won’t be able to do the interview. I ate a spider last night.”
“Oh, OK,” I said. “Perhaps we can reschedule?”
“I’m kidding!” she replied. “I’ll be right there.”
A few minutes into our interview, we returned to this subject.
Luke: “I did believe you. I believe everything you tell me.”
Antoinette: “Maybe part of my gift is to have that spontaneity and playful spirit to laugh and to joke and to have fun.”
Luke: “Insects are not a laughing matter because I went to yoga a few months ago and met this great girl. She was Jewish. She was cute. She was smart. She was accomplished. She excited me. Everything was going great. And then I said, ‘So what do you do for a living?’ And she said, ‘My life mission is to get people to eat more insects [and not just the kosher ones].’
“She’s got a YouTube channel where she teaches people how to prepare spiders and insects and eat them because they’re a good source of protein.”
Luke: “I’ve been forever scarred by that experience. So when you say you eat spiders, I go, ohmigod, another chick who eats spiders.
“I was so torn because on the one hand, she was hot. On the other hand, she ate insects that weren’t kosher.”
A minute later, I had Antoinette in tears.
Antoinette: “Most of us don’t know how to love ourselves. For me, just having a childhood where there was a lot of pain. My heart was closed. I felt awkward in my own skin. I was the ugly duckling in school.”
Luke: “Really? Were you tall and skinny?”
Antoinette: “I was skinny, lanky. I had braces. People made fun of me all the time. It was a private [Catholic] school of 30 kids and I was the one they made fun of every day. Can you imagine being that kid that everyone made fun of? I would come into class and I’d be so awkward. The kids were mean.
“I don’t share this story a lot, but there was one incident when I was younger when they decided to call me this name and when I think about it, I think ohmigod, I’m going to cry.”
And she does.
Antoinette: “And so everyone decided to call me that name and no one wanted to be friends with me.”
Luke: “That’s horrible.”
Antoinette: “This is mostly through grade school. I was the outcast. I didn’t know how to play. I didn’t enjoy my body. Just thinking about it right now, tears… I just have to give myself a moment.”
“I’d go home to a home where there was so much tumult, I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know what to do except to cry. I needed to learn something else.
“I started a spiritual quest while I was in high school looking for deeper answers. I left the country. I needed to run away. I started traveling and the world started opening up. Every time I learned something, part of the pain started to heal. I started to play again. I started to feel confident. It was a whole spiritual transformation.”
I give Antoinette a super-absorbent paper towel to dry her eyes.
Antoinette: “When people look at me now, they say, well, she didn’t have bad experiences. How did she learn this?”
Luke: “You seem so confident.”
Antoinette: “I had to learn all this. In my first relationship, I was so needy. Do you love me? Do you validate me? It was so hard for him. It took a toll.”
“When we broke up, I had to learn to love myself in a new way because I was dependent on him for love.”
Luke: “You probably learned [in private school] your deep and abiding love for Roman Catholicism, which informs everything you say and do.”
Antoinette laughs. “School was a blur.”
Luke: “Were you high?”
Antoinette: “No.”
Luke: “Why was it a blur?”
Antoinette: “Because of the misery. I just had a block, all the pain. People say, ‘What did you want to do when you were younger?’ I don’t remember because I was so consumed by the pain. When I was older, I thought, oh, I can be a kid again.”
Luke: “I thought that from age five you were telling people that you wanted to become a sensual empowerment coach.”
“What were you good at at school?”
Antoinette: “I was a good student. How did you know?”
Luke: “Well, you’re Asian, right?”
Antoinette laughs in shock. “I was a really good student. I was good at everything. I was good at Math and English and Art and sports. Track and field. I was really good at running. High jump. I was good at the creative stuff. Anything that was an outlet. The only thing for which I got validation was to be good at these things.”
Luke: “Did you cheat in high school?”
Antoinette: “I think I did because I didn’t care. It was so easy. It was memorization. When you memorize things, who cares? I could study for a test and just memorize it.”
Luke: “And you put off the modeling until college?”
Antoinette: “I did a little bit of hair modeling when I was 16. And that was fun. It helped out my self-esteem… but I still felt self-conscious. We had to do these shows where we had to wear these outfits I didn’t feel comfortable in. They were revealing. One of the shows, I just ended up leaving. I’m out of here. I don’t want to wear this. I don’t even want to talk to them. I just left. That’s what happened when you’re afraid.”
Antoinette lists her interests on Facebook as “Feminine Spirituality, Hugging Trees, Dinner Parties, Cuddles Parties, Wine tasting”.
Here’s the official bio of Antoinette Cabral and some of the questions I asked her:
Antoinette Cabral teaches Feminine Leadership and is Sensual Empowerment Coach. She uses powerful tools and exercises to help women tap into their bodies and their sensuality to live sexy, soulful and sensational when connecting with the opposite sex. She helps men and women access their confidence and sensual power so that their ideal partner will find them incredibly irresistible, magical, and magnetic. Her love of travel, adventure, fun, spirituality and personal growth guided her to study with many master teachers in healing, Tantra, dance, meditation and massage. Please check her out at http://www.antoinettecabral.com.
What is sensual empowerment?
How did you become a sensual empowerment coach?
Can you sensually empower me to become irresistible, magical and magnetic to the ladies?
I’m tired of being irresistible, magical and magnetic to guys. Can you help me stop that?
How does this help a woman while dating? In relationship?
What are some things that women do that prevent them from attracting the opposite sex?
What are some of the top ways to disenchant men while in relationship?
Here are some of my other dating interviews:
* Orit Arfa
* Rabbi Ally
* Tamara Shayne Kagel
* Neil Strauss
* Rachel Resnick
* Sexual Addiction
I was not sure whether to dress for this interview as a wizard or as a Santa?
