I’ve been working so hard to keep my inner Craigslist Killer suppressed that I’m blown away that Tamara was able to detect it. Sometimes you can’t fool a good woman’s intuition.
Tamara writes for the Jewish Journal:
I think everyone to some degree has a secret life, especially when it comes to sex. Sexuality is incredibly complicated. Every day I seem to hear of a new sexual perversion – usually from a Law and Order SVU episode. But people everywhere seem to be into all kinds of crazy kinky things. The thing is, I’m tempted to say “I don’t know any of these people.” As in, I don’t know anyone that’s met up with someone for sex from Craigslist, nor have my friends complained about some boy wanting to take them to a sex club, nor have I ever thought about strangling someone since I had to take a self-defense class in college. But statistically, these things are occurring at a rate which implies that I do know such people – I just don’t know who they are. And if I know people or even am friends with people who like to meet up with strangers from the internet for sex, maybe the problem isn’t that everyone has secret lives, maybe the problem is we don’t talk about it enough?
The place I get hung up on, is everyone, especially you’re average run of the mill man seems to have some sort of secret sexual fantasy life. We don’t punish people for thoughts so how angry can a woman really get at a man who has fantasized about another woman or even five women. The difference is some people act on it and some don’t. Theoretically though, there must be millions of men and women out there who have a secret sexual fantasy life. A life which they don’t share with anyone, and they never act on. They just think about. But in a relationship where you’re supposed to share everything, maybe it would be better if they didn’t share. If you’re married for forty years, it is completely unreasonable to expect that your mate is never fantasizing about sex with someone else. But at the same time, I really don’t want to know if my boyfriend is fantasizing about a friend of mine. It’s weird and gives me the heebeegeevies.
