The Luke Ford Institute For Righteous Gentiles

Chaim Amalek writes: I miss Christmas, and we never even celebrated. Goyim have it easy.

Re your latest venture, come one, what sort of Jew are you, engaging in retail tertiary economic activity when you should be wholesale, selling something to the goyim. Why not (I know why not “I don’t have the energy”) establish an institution for instructing goyim on how to live as proper Noahide gentiles? No doubt you could make money at that. No doubt at all. In a city where people pay big money to attend seminars sponsored by Landmark Forum and Scientology, why not you teaching them to be ethical gentiles with a place in heaven waiting for them?

But you won’t. You will just age in place and die where you are, one day to be discovered by a curious landlord wondering about the unpleasant odor and missed rent checks.


What the hell are you doing living a hardscrabble existence, living in a shoe box, when you could be a country squire on sis’s mango farm?. That’s where I’d be. Naturally we’ll miss you but there’s always the Internet. I picture you married to a plump Aussie country gal. Corn fed as it were. And when she’s busy picking fruit you could nip off to see your old pal Wayne Cherry. What are you waiting for?

P.s. Your Dad looks to be in better health than you.

Fred emails: Luke–I read somewhere that 7th Day Adventists don’t believe in evolution. Were you raised to disbelieve evolution?

Chaim emails: Why pick on 7DA? Torah Jews (see Luke’s Monday evening chats) do not believe in evolution; Baptists don’t believe in evolution; Sarah Palin’s church does not believe in evolution; the Jihadis don’t believe in evolution, etc.

In other news, I saw a story today somewhere on the web that reports that scientists, by which I mean hard scientists, not social scientist who likely would skew things further, are overwhelmingly Democrats, with maybe 7% belonging to the Creationism friendly Republican Party. Now there’s a social divide we need to discuss further. Is the Republican Party to be the Party of God, and the Democratic Party the Party of Science?

Fred, on which side are America’s patent lawyers?

Fred emails: America’s patent lawyers have engineering and/or science backgrounds, so by and large I doubt one would find many creationist patent lawyers.

I suppose the Republican party has started to become the party of religion and anti-science, while the democratic party is more science friendly.

This does not bode well for America.

KHUNRUM EMAILS: I read something a few weeks ago. A study that indicated there is job scarcity everywhere but the trades. Welding, machine shop, plumbing etc. etc. etc. Kids don’t want to enter these jobs because you’ll get dirty and they aren’t glamorous (although well paying). And there is a perception that being a welder isn’t cool. A job for dummies as it were.

BOB EMAILS: This whole No Child Left Behind stuff assumes all kids will go to college. I always say a lot of plumbers make more than my principal. I salute a good tradesman. Now a blogger …….Why won’t the US govt. subsidize bloggers? Is that not valued by society more than mig welding and such?

CHAIM EMAILS: If they had had blogs during the Great Depression, no doubt the WPA would have subsidized some of them.

By the way, how do we know that today’s days of the week correspond to the days of the week of ancient times? Might there not have been slip-ups along the way such that we can not be certain that Jews and 7da are really celebrating the sabbath on the correct day?

BOB EMAILS: With your beard and graying hair you could score some easy money at Macy’s as a substitute Santa. Would your shul approve?

LUKE: NO. Orthodox Jews would not accept such work.

FRED: If Luke were a Santa or an elf, what sort of presents would he be giving the little kiddies? An autographed copy of one of his books?

CHAIM EMAILS: Start thinking like a Jew for Torah’s sake! Cranking out these things at fifty cents a pop is not even what a Mexican’s Mexican’s Mexican would accept these days.

Why not:
1. Offer yourself as a (non-sexual) escort on Craigslist?
2. Move in with Rabbs to save money?
3. Sell sperm to a suitably specialized sperm bank?
4. Inch back into **** journalism.
5. Marry an angry woman who will beat you into financial health.

If I had the option of living on a sibling’s mango farm, I’d jump on it. I like mangos. Chicks dig guys who can give them mangos.

The only explanation I can think of is that Luke is still traumatized by memories of that incident with the Abos back when he was a kid.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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