A friend calls. "You’re the Mohammed Atta of Pico/Robertson. After you blow up Chabad, will you have a provision in your will that no women are allowed at your funeral?
"I’m going to have to maintain a separate secular service for Jenna Jameson, Kendra Jade, Holly Randall…
"I chose to remember Levi as he was — Luke Ford, not the religious zealot he became."
Luke: "Did you prefer me when I was more porny?"
Friend: "I don’t know that you’re any different. I like the Truman Show thing you’ve got going 24/6 with your cam. Whenever I try to check it out, my computer freezes and I have to call Verizon.
"I love that there are no limits. Do you keep that thing on when you bring back Zipporah?"
Luke: "How’s your depression?"
Friend: "They can’t tamper with genius. I don’t want SSRIs. I refuse to take them. I can’t deal with the side effects. Prozac made me comatose. The only thing missing was Sandra Tsingh Loh squeezing my hand and calling for a nurse and….standing outside the room saying, ‘It’s so unfair.’ And ….is filling out paperwork to convince Harvey that she is his long lost daughter. She grafted herself on to that family like a lecherous malignant inoperable tumor. She’s on of Cathy’s tumors come to life.
"I’m going to slow dance with….while Mickey Kaus plays the accordion."
"I will pay you Jewish money to hit his wife in the belly with a whiffle ball bat. Then say, ‘I’m sorry. It’s the new meds. I went native. I wanted to get the joey out of your pouch.’
"That guy 60 years ago was rubber stamping memorandum for Heinrich Himmler."
