She Finds It Hard To Say No

Tamara Shayne Kagel writes for the Jewish Journal:

But pretty soon, it became clear, I was not going to date this guy. He’s a few years younger than me and works a cash register, but of course one day, he’d love to direct. Gag me. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a struggling artist and not making a lot of money while you’re going after your dream – I’ve done it myself. But just telling people that you’d love to direct doesn’t qualify. So when he asked for my number, I found myself hating him for putting me in a position where I have to be the bad guy.

At one time in my life, I would have said yes. We’d probably have fun on a few dates, go to some good restaurants, and I’d get to know a possibly interesting person until it ran its course. But, I just don’t want to waste my team with these guys anymore. I’ve seen too many of them and the complete lack of all ambition is not really a turn on for me. The fact is like it or not, I don’t date beneath me.

So the real question is, why do I feel so bad about saying no? Why would I rather give the guy my phone number and save him in my phone as do not pick up then just say to his face no sorry I’m not interested. But I find it so hard to do.

For generations this wasn’t a problem. A girl could get out of it pretty easily by giving a fake number.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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