I Might Be Lazydox

Heshy Fried writes:

You tend to only wear tzitzis on shabbos or when you want to make people think you are frummer than you really are, like at shachris

You want to daven maariv, but are so damned tired that you only say the first paragraph of shema when you are already in bed

Z’man krias shema? Try tefillin for mincha

You “forget” to put on tefillin

Your idea of shabbos lunch is empire meat on white bread with mustard while reading the NY Post in your underwear

You roll into shul only when you have a meal setup

You figure if the Dutch can wait an hour between meat and milk you can too

You only wash for bread and bench on shabbos

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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