Sending Icebreakers On Frumster

So I just tried out Frumster for the first time.

I used these search criteria: Age 25-45, anything goes. Divorced with kids, never married, whatever.

I can’t believe how much anxiety I am feeling. It was like being at an Orthodox singles mixer.

Orthodox life is very close. If this was a dating website filled with non-Jewish women, I’d feel little anxiety. If we dated and it didn’t work out, no big deal because we don’t belong to the same community.

I’ve never dated an Orthodox woman. I’ve dated a lot of secular Jews and secular shiksas.

Well, I took some deep breaths and sent out about six icebreakers. I didn’t feel like writing out a whole email to these women. I just sent an “icebreaker” which links to my profile:

Frequency of Torah Study: daily
Frequency of Tefilah: three times daily
Kippa: suede/leather kippa
Tzitzit: always

What Carlebachian means to me:
Carlebach-style is about the only style of davening that I consistently enjoy! Carlebach means Judaism with joy.

Geez, what a catch I am!

Describe yourself: I was born in Australia in 1966. I moved to California with my family in 1977. I am a big fan of Dennis Prager, Joseph Telushkin, Marc B. Shapiro, David Schnarch. I am fascinated by all forms of Judaism. I’m a big believer in psycho-therapy and personal growth.

Describe the woman you are looking for: I love people who laugh. Somebody with a sense of humor is always smart and more fun for me to be with. I’m looking for someone who wants to take what I have to give — laughter, learning, reliability, dedication, hard work, safety, intimacy.

Where does my anxiety come from? It comes from my lack of confidence. If I had just inked a big book deal or TV deal, I am sure I’d feel differently, but I live hand-to-mouth in a hovel, which keeps me humble and anxious.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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